In my last meaningful conversation with Dad, i.e., when morphine didn’t play a role, we talked about his death. In truth it felt like we had been doing that off and on since he’d been diagnosed with Cancer in March 2010, but this time we knew that he was going to die.
We talked about what would happen when he was gone. He always had a really clear view of what he wanted and we sorted those practicalities then. But what he really wanted was that we lived life. We had increasingly talked about the afterlife. He knew I was pretty open to whatever comes next so we made a pact that if I was followed around by a Robin, then I would know it was him.
I was pretty sure I could see the rolling of the eyes then ……
The Robin holds a deep meaning and many different interpretations for many cultures. And one that seems disproportionate to it’s size, but maybe therein lies an assumption that needs to be corrected in time. The three years since Dad died have been very busy and the last 18 months for all of us has been profoundly turbulent. But off and on in the three years, a Robin has appeared.
About a month ago one got in through my back door – which has never happened in the nearly twenty five years I have lived in my home. I figured that was a sign, but the distraction of capturing and releasing the wee thing with two excitable Chocolate Labradors in tow meant I was distracted from too much introspection. I normally run scared with flapping wings but this Robin was both so feisty but yet so gentle and still when it allowed me to both capture and release it.
That is, I think a metaphor for our current times. A global pandemic has captured all of us and we are now in the process of our release.
Over the last few weeks, the visitations of my wee red breasted friend have been increasing – and the persistence has been hard to ignore. This last blessed week of annual leave has pretty much seen me followed every day. The remarkable bit of this is that this has happened both at my home but on a 2 day visit to Mum’s house, well over a hundred miles away.
Some interpretations of Robin visitations would have you think that a Robin flying into your house is a bad thing. That has not been my sense at all. In Native American symbolism, the Robin represents a sign of an Angel and that is always a heartening interpretation. Apparently there is even a meaning for a Robin tattoo. I’m absolutely not inspired to get one of those but I love the symbolism of Robin bringing new beginnings, spring and hope. In helping Mum sort through over 40 years of memories as we sell her house, this sense of new beginning resonates deeply.
The idea of Robin as a power animal includes the idea of Robin representing the connection between the earth and sky. In that last meaningful conversation with Dad I told him that whilst I would miss him, my personal view was that he was still going to be around, it was just he was going to a different place. Robin’s recent visitations have brought the sky (Dad) to me; and that has been deeply nurturing.
Like many, lockdowns have forced in me a review of the idea of place, particularly in the where and who I am connected to. They have also forced a deep think about the what I want to be connected to as well. Staggering acts of dedication, commitment, compassion, kindness and giving have characterised the very best of us. But sadly we’ve also seen staggering selfishness, denial, disinterest and exploitation. The contrast between the sky and our Angels and the earth never clearer.
In a speech delivered by at the Riverside Church in New York City on April 4th, 1967 Dr King said:
“We are now faced with the fact that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Life often leaves us standing bare, naked and dejected with a lost opportunity”.
Dr King was talking about Vietnam in that speech, but I think you can make the case that the pandemic has wrought a global change that the majority of us have never envisaged. And I suspect for many of us, that fierce urgency of now is a fire burning anew. And on so many issues we can no longer contemplate being too late.
It’s always easier to amplify the crap, the absurd and the diminishing – the loose, foolish, misleading headline, the gossip and the slight. The over reaction and indulgence; the overwhelming and distracting ego. It’s not always easy to nurture the fire. Too much air and the fire destroys, too little and the fire whimpers. Just right and the fire thrives, it nourishes us and it sheds light. Light that shows us the path ahead.
As much as the Robin has been my companion this week, Jed Mercurio’s final words for Ted Hastings in the Line of Duty finale have been with me too. They have crashed around my head and heart and I haven’t been able to lose them. They’ve been the kick I think to encourage me to return to the blogging I loved in my former days with PPMA.
Our release from lockdown isn’t going to be a single event; nor is it going to be as easy as the headlines want it to be. We’re changed as a society, as organisations, as families and as humans. We needed to be. If our experience of the best of us during lockdowns is to mean anything, is to translate into sustained change, a more equitable, just, tolerant and listening society we will need to be resilient, focused, and dedicated.
We’ll need to be consistent in our daily efforts to contribute positively, to support the public service workers on their knees because of their efforts, the politicians (of all stripes) who have had to navigate terrifying decisions, the under represented in society, those for whom the pandemic has wrought unimaginable grief. We’re often hooked on a big solution I think, when the reality is that meaningful change is often delivered through the every day acts of the ordinary – the persistent, the tolerant, the loving, the kind, the wise and the repetition that we see in the best of us.
It’s a tall order. But I think Ted’s advice is spot on. If you are to do anything of meaning, with a heartfelt desire to contribute ……
You do it because you carry the fire.
…………………
For those of you interested in learning more about the symbolism of the Robin, this wonderful resource by Garth C. Clifford is a fabulous collation of the various traditions; and it is one of the inspirations behind this blog offering.
You can read the full text of Dr Martin Luther King Jr’s Riverside Speech here.
thefutureisquantum 